The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
