Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.

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  (856): i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again. http://tfl.nu/ts1b
  Replies (17) Good night (545) Bad night (2273) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.

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  (334): I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet. http://tfl.nu/qfk7
  Replies (47) Good night (1006) Bad night (4372) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.

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  (781): i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up. http://tfl.nu/navv
  Replies (12) Good night (4577) Bad night (629) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am

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  (201): She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am http://tfl.nu/vk3v
  Replies (20) Good night (3995) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?

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  (309): My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do? http://tfl.nu/tx29
  Replies (46) Good night (8652) Bad night (1030) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.

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  (419): He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/bo6z
  Replies (23) Good night (811) Bad night (7337) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.

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  (208): Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat. http://tfl.nu/qpwr
  Replies (15) Good night (4268) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.

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  (352): My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone. http://tfl.nu/x5d3
  Replies (12) Good night (1147) Bad night (4372) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.

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  (707): She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love. http://tfl.nu/is4u
  Replies (17) Good night (4555) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'

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  (615): When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.' http://tfl.nu/622f
  Replies (5) Good night (2058) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck

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  (915): Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck http://tfl.nu/avfi
  Replies (4) Good night (2747) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.

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  (412): We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you. http://tfl.nu/7kee
  Replies (2) Good night (1083) Bad night (465)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.

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  (817): I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information. http://tfl.nu/ct01
  Replies (3) Good night (1040) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.

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  (660): What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food. http://tfl.nu/k4pm
  Replies (10) Good night (999) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses

  (770): View more from Georgia

  We'll talk about it later...

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  (478): How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses (770): We'll talk about it later... http://tfl.nu/vxl3
  Replies (2) Good night (760) Bad night (200)

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