You made me cry and you don't even care
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
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We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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