Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
