FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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