I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
