The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
