dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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