It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
one might say we're banned from that church
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
