I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There r osticjed everywhere
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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