i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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