Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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