North Korea, Best Korea!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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