her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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