Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
