why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
