Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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