i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
time to smoke my breakfast
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I have aggressive nipples.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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