That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
