you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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