Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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