I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
