Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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