Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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