I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She said her name was "party"
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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