i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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