so explain again why im purple
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....