Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch