Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"