Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???

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(+32): View more from Belgium

We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.

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(727): View more from Florida

Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"

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(703): View more from Virginia

If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.

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(206): View more from Washington

I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.

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(716): View more from New York

you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.

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(415): View more from California

Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians

(1-415): View more from California

Does the penis have a genital wart?

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(727): View more from Florida

You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.

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