So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
did i walk over a car last night?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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