I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
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