That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
