i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
