I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
