U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
