The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
