he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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