he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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