I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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