If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
