Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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