The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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