Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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