I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
