Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
