it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
