her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
