Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
