32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
