I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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