the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
