PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
