So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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