Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
