Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
