i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize