how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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