He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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