i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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