and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize