Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
