The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
